Moon in Taurus

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when forever did not mean an eternity
be aware that I questioned life in its entirety.
i fixated on my flaws
and had it out with romance.
I became my true self
unreliable, hungry, and flammable.

this is my transcendental prelude,
a reminder to those who may have forgotten.
I am strong, deep, and unwavering.

I may not easily bend to changes,
or adherent to surprises.
I sleep on the same side of the bed every night,
and I stick to my daily rituals.

Fixated and reliable instincts,
I am tied to this world,
all on the strength of emotional stimulation.

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Naked among wolves

Her body promised such sensuality. It seemed polished with a shiny wax as she laid in the dark-blue stitch of midnight. She was a priestess in her own tiny castle. A mother to all his demons and the one to keep his bed warm. She roamed the room like a lioness, purring, marking territory that was rightfully hers. A woman, so filled with catty femininity, a fiery sex kitten.  That would snatch the sun from the sky and swallow it whole. Who knew she would meet her match in a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Taking on the image of man but a wild mess. By coincidence, they were both greater proofs of wildness together. They would lull each other into dreamy embrace. Just for a moment, take possession of each other until, with pleasurable amounts of begging, return their souls to one another. She would offer her mouth to him, and he would give her life in small acts. They would kiss for momentary lifetimes and fill each others’ space with excitement. Nothing was ever planned. It all was discovered. Their sex would catch the light that streamed through from the street. Beautiful pliable sex.

Book list of 2017

These books are not recently published, I just thought it would be cool to accumulate a list of books that I have come across this year that were awesome reads. In between finishing college and training to be a birth/postpartum doula, my down time consisted of making sure I was reading something. anything. everything. as my way of keeping an ear and eye to the literary world. These books are in no way restricted to one genre, they are from all walks of life that just deserved to be shouted out.   xo Au
  • Seducing the Demon: Writing for my Life by Erica Jong

  • The Concept of Self: A Study of Black Identity and Self-esteem

    by Richard L Allen

  • Kissing God Goodbye (poetry) by June Jordan

  • Unforbidden Pleasures: Rethinking Authority, Power, and Vitality   

    by Adam Phillips (highly recommend)

  • The Magical Year: Seasonal Celebrations to Honor Nature’s Ever-Turning Wheel

    by Danu Forest

  • Soul on Ice (a memoir) by Eldrige Cleaver

  • Perfume (novel) by Patrick Suskind

  • My Wicked Wicked Ways (poems) by Sandra Cisneros

  • One Spirit Medicine: Ancient Ways to Ultimate Wellness

    by Albert Villoldo, Ph.d

  • The Double Flame: Love and Eroticism

    by Octavio Paz   (highly recommend)

  • Big Machine (a novel) by Victor Lavalle

  • Then Come Back’: The Lost Neruda Poems 

    *Translated by Forest Gander

  • The Black Arts: A Concise History of Witchcraft, Demonology, Astrology, and Other Mystical Practices Throughout the Ages (Perigee) 

    by Richard Cavendish

  • Kindred (a novel) by Octavia Butler

  • We Are All Made of Molecules (a novel) by Susin Nelsen

  • Multitudes by Lucy Caldwell

  • Gratitude by Oliver Sacks

  • A Tale for the Time Being (a novel) by Ruth Ozeki

  • Nothing In This Book Is True, But It’s Exactly How Things Are

    by Bob Frissel

Lady

soldiers will march, bombs will burst
all for Lady.
Just as she experienced war,
the kind that rings that wild bell in your heart
and shifts your kidneys and spleen.
They will endure.
Cathedrals and Bavarian castles
will erect in honor of her.
They will build new roads, coiled and curved,
to emulate her body.
A fountain will reign in the center of her city.
It would be covered with vines of wild grapes,
foiled along the sides with bronze cobras.
And all the women in town,
especially the ones with calloused hands,
and the ones with the scent of their midnight lovers still lingering
on their necks,
will come there to wash their feet
and dispense their wishes.
The men from lower parts of town
will lay their offerings at their hearth
and ask her to gift them more pleasant years
and more honorable work.
The children will frolic and dance barefooted
on the cobblestone walkways,
singing songs about her.
Even the dogs will howl
and cats will purr
at the sight of a lady in love.

damn those vices

how revolutionary it is to let
something you love kill you

to let something indecent
engulf
your existence,
or what ever is left of it

 

let it claim you

 

all of your private thoughts,
your dangling arms,
and calloused feet

 

letting it fill your lungs
and spill from your lips

 

how sweet to be possessed and then transformed,

 

evolved into something more warm
and smoother around the edges.

 

You become nothing more than a catalyst,
the only thing mattering now
is the throbbing goodness of pleasing
the very thing we’ve become a slave to.

The Hermit

After awhile it gets hard to sort through the heap of accumulated personae, those external selves as backup generators in use more than our True self. We are many things in one, a legion of inherited traits and moods  and defense mechanisms. Always conflicted by love, dependence and anger. We are nothing but our phobias, obsessions, impulses, fantasies and compulsions.  And what of our repression?  Our unresolved conflicts, like terrible thorns on a blacken rose that cannot be ignored.  We hide those thorns that need to be tended to, because we are too proud of our misfortunes, feeling as if no one deserves the weight of it all as much as ourselves.  We are all hiding.  Blue

777.

 

Water

 

            I loved him,
knowing that he was my madness in the flesh.
When we fucked
I’d take the form of all the fishes in the Sea,
And he’d be the tsunami that would tear me apart.

I can still taste sea-foam on my mouth
Still hear that kinetic funk of his,
ruling the waves.
Even recall days,
I would wait hours before washing off his scent.

                                                 At first, I was terrified.
But it became familiar,
it became the ferocity I needed in my life.
Monogamy,
used to be a waning song that echoed in my bones
with a strong staccato and a fluttering sound,
similar to a thousand moth wings.
And I would do anything to shut it up.
But now this song was the most beautiful hymn.

He made that possible.