We have the ability to blend in
to our background spaces.
Our black faces
black bodies
black clothing,
black romance
black rules
black manners.
We’d believe we were free
and act accordingly.
Relaxed inside our dark blueness,
when truly we are dramatists,
wanting purple, fuchsia, and gold
flaunted realities.
Some of us
find the diamonds underneath
the subtleness and find ways of
performing our true selves
that once held us captives.
We’d eat our cornbread,
fish and collard greens
with silver spoons, and
drink Hennessy out
of jeweled-encrusted chalices.
Keep our Jambalya recipes
in the family
and teach our babies magic

Give our elders their proper
reverence and tend to them.
’cause with their death comes
our resurrection,
the access granted to
emerge from their shadows
adorned in silk and fleeces.

We’re taking our pleasures
that were meant to be forbidden
and making it our new livelihood.
Giving the swine back and demanding
our pearls.


Symbolized —


Black woman,
with her father’s spirit
blood and flesh of Mama,
dark nebula with tiny planets
and starry clusters
placed in her womb.
She sashays around condensed galaxies,
a possible maker of honeyed realities,
sticky and sweetly curated.

Bronzed skin like sunlight flooding through
from the heart.
Her head hangs high,
from her mouth, the breath of life.
Her hands, balancing many things
— protector, nurturer, martyr;
untamed, unchecked, and distinctive.

In this body also lies an essence,
luberon red ocher in color,
so archaic and passed on gracefully.
A quintessential element
that sets her apart.
It’s what you witness when she
wakes up in the morning,
hair and face untouched
–sans clothing.
What you hear while she speaks her mind, unapologetically,
slick and gum popping.
What you feel when she places all of herself in your lap,
wrapping around you like an aura.
Keeping you safer than you ever thought
you had the right to be.

Her loving,
a peach deep,
cocoa sweet intrigue.
The friction between her thighs,
a high voltage electricity,
shocking souls into something
call bliss.
Freeing and also binding,
ceremonial at times,
casting pearls before her lovers.
Reigniting his sexuality with interweaving
of fucking and philosophy.

Her story will be told, but not today.




in common

not all of us are fragile,
easily broken
and silenced,
neither conflicted or naive.
some of us are perpetual,
shades of cool,
blooming continuously through
annual heartbreaks.

i felt each one just weeks before.

i know that frigidness,
that animosity
between making love and a hate fuck.
both terrifying and unreasonable,
and neither one more transparent than the other.

this recent one though

was different than the others,

heavily adorned in fidelity,

eased into






i’d met my match.
he knew that damn feeling
of unsuccessful relationships just as well.
so his deflecting skills
were just as dangerous as mine,
avoiding conflicts
momentary compromising
reversed psychology
playing defense 24/7.
a man in my own image,
who i still worship for his resourcefulness
and his willingness
to demonstrate love











Moon in Taurus


when forever did not mean an eternity
be aware that I questioned life in its entirety.
i fixated on my flaws
and had it out with romance.
I became my true self
unreliable, hungry, and flammable.

this is my transcendental prelude,
a reminder to those who may have forgotten.
I am strong, deep, and unwavering.

I may not easily bend to changes,
or adherent to surprises.
I sleep on the same side of the bed every night,
and I stick to my daily rituals.

Fixated and reliable instincts,
I am tied to this world,
all on the strength of emotional stimulation.

Naked among wolves

Her body promised such sensuality. It seemed polished with a shiny wax as she laid in the dark-blue stitch of midnight. She was a priestess in her own tiny castle. A mother to all his demons and the one to keep his bed warm. She roamed the room like a lioness, purring, marking territory that was rightfully hers. A woman, so filled with catty femininity, a fiery sex kitten.  That would snatch the sun from the sky and swallow it whole. Who knew she would meet her match in a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Taking on the image of man but a wild mess. By coincidence, they were both greater proofs of wildness together. They would lull each other into dreamy embrace. Just for a moment, take possession of each other until, with pleasurable amounts of begging, return their souls to one another. She would offer her mouth to him, and he would give her life in small acts. They would kiss for momentary lifetimes and fill each others’ space with excitement. Nothing was ever planned. It all was discovered. Their sex would catch the light that streamed through from the street. Beautiful pliable sex.

Book list of 2017

These books are not recently published, I just thought it would be cool to accumulate a list of books that I have come across this year that were awesome reads. In between finishing college and training to be a birth/postpartum doula, my down time consisted of making sure I was reading something. anything. everything. as my way of keeping an ear and eye to the literary world. These books are in no way restricted to one genre, they are from all walks of life that just deserved to be shouted out.   xo Au
  • Seducing the Demon: Writing for my Life by Erica Jong

  • The Concept of Self: A Study of Black Identity and Self-esteem

    by Richard L Allen

  • Kissing God Goodbye (poetry) by June Jordan

  • Unforbidden Pleasures: Rethinking Authority, Power, and Vitality   

    by Adam Phillips (highly recommend)

  • The Magical Year: Seasonal Celebrations to Honor Nature’s Ever-Turning Wheel

    by Danu Forest

  • Soul on Ice (a memoir) by Eldrige Cleaver

  • Perfume (novel) by Patrick Suskind

  • My Wicked Wicked Ways (poems) by Sandra Cisneros

  • One Spirit Medicine: Ancient Ways to Ultimate Wellness

    by Albert Villoldo, Ph.d

  • The Double Flame: Love and Eroticism

    by Octavio Paz   (highly recommend)

  • Big Machine (a novel) by Victor Lavalle

  • Then Come Back’: The Lost Neruda Poems 

    *Translated by Forest Gander

  • The Black Arts: A Concise History of Witchcraft, Demonology, Astrology, and Other Mystical Practices Throughout the Ages (Perigee) 

    by Richard Cavendish

  • Kindred (a novel) by Octavia Butler

  • We Are All Made of Molecules (a novel) by Susin Nelsen

  • Multitudes by Lucy Caldwell

  • Gratitude by Oliver Sacks

  • A Tale for the Time Being (a novel) by Ruth Ozeki

  • Nothing In This Book Is True, But It’s Exactly How Things Are

    by Bob Frissel

Fruit of my flesh




Eroticism became a favored religion. With each man I become exalted,
with his flesh and drinking of his blood.
Every man I ever loved, my visualization of Christ.
Descending into my fingertips, anointing me and preying over my body.
I guaranteed that I would take them all to my lips and breathe life into
them. And as they rise I’d submit to them, and feed them the fruit of my flesh.
When the sons of Him are acquainting themselves with my taste, I fall into
my ways. The black-haired heathen with thick thighs and the sweetest tongue.
I am the sinner they cling to the most. The Eve of my paradise, wasted on
wine and freed from shame. I become everything I am meant to be.


Free, free

Had someone told me the journey back

to ourselves was so long, I would’ve

packed lighter. I passed up three

signs that I couldn’t read

think they were in a different language

couldn’t make out the meaning

did not know how to recall a constant sound

a roll of the tongue, the pronunciation

unbeknownst to me.

Away, Away

Though I am young

I’ve been brave enough  to travel alone

in search of myself

in forests, rivers, and savannahs.

the gift of s o u l

It’s inside of me

it lives in my heart

in my brain

in my mouth.

It is the product of my life

the baby of mine who would nourish me

keeping me from being aloof, from being hard.

Its love is a gift not to be given unwisely

given only to those who request it, need it, deserve it.

It governs my happy place from the simulation

where fears are thought over and made to be goals

and fulfillment is like mimosas runneth over.

I’m offered mercy and compassion

and judgement against me

falls on stuffed ears, because love here

for me is law.

It is the very thing that moves my feet

and sets a fire in my eyes.

Born with it so it’s been mine since the beginning

my solo act

a gift from unknown,

my light

and the theme to everything.

How could I give it away?



Spring reading list

As the seasons change, so does my literary tastes. For Spring, my book list consisted of a lot of magic related, romance centered, and quick reads. Along with binge watching Grace & Frankie on Netflix, entertainment for Spring was great.

  • The Dream of a Common Language
    -Adrianne Rich
  • Jambalaya: The National Book of Personal Charms + Practical Rituals
    -Luisha Teish
  • Santeria Aesthetics: In Contemporary Latin American Art
    -Arturo Lindsay
  • The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
    -David Deida
  • The Complete Book of Incense, Oils, and Brews
    -Scott Cunningham
  • Dark Desires: Beginning
    -Delicious Dave


The shy pink of a grapefruit,
the twisted twirling
of a thirsty tongue,
hunger brews
in the belly
and summarizes on the
I take my fruit to my mouth
and sink my teeth in
the bleeding flesh.  It
sticks to my teeth,
leaving a film on my lips
one two three droplets
on my white shirt.

Setting my tiny feet in the dirt
soiled by morning rain.
The untamed blades of grass
loop around my ankles
as i dig pink toes in the earth.
Mary jane girls is playing
on shuffle
and a dream from lastnight
on replay
one of common language
and local color.

This is one of Sunday’s luxuries.
I’m in charge of the narrative,
the song choice and the energy.
Today i’m starting off
outside and eventually
i’ll be upstream.